I'm "out" to a certain portion of the world. I see no general point in keeping secret, among those one already knows well, the reason I have reached the age of 40 without marrying, and why I never mention "my girlfriend," in either the present or past tenses. And there's all my Courage brothers and those priests of the Arlington and Washington Dioceses lucky(?) enough to have heard my confessions or to have chaplained one of our meetings.
I see no reason not to joke about my SSA, if the audience is right. When I spoke to the pastor at my parish about joining, he said "we impose a time wait so that people can't simply register merely for the sake of getting married." I responded: "well, that won't be a concern you'll have with me." He laughed.
But sometimes I hold back, primarily because it's sometimes difficult to tell in advance the spirit in which a joke about sexuality will be taken, particularly when one's own is suspect. Earlier today I saw a news item about a PETA listing of the sexiest vegetarians (whatthe...???). Exactly the kind of "dumb fun" item that people pass around. I was going to send the link to a priest I know, who is the only vegetarian I know, with a short note to the effect of "you need to start campaigning earlier and harder, Father."
But I decided against it because ... well ... I'm not really sure (this is one of the few posts I've ever "thought out loud" about). It's not because I harbor sinful feelings about him; priests and my Courage brothers are desexualized in my eyes, in all but the most abstractly-intellectual sense. Nor because I think he'll wrongly take it as a declaration of interest, and in the worst case go all Jenny Jones on me. And in general, he has a good sense of humor. And this is not the first time I've held back on making a joke based on the potential for SSA-related misunderstanding.
I guess I'm holding to the standard of all the SSA-related jokes I want about myself (see here) and celebrities, but none at all about others. I can't also deny that I have been made hypersensitive by all the shit that good priests have had to take since The Situation went nuclear (see the anecdote recounted here by Father Brian Stanley; scroll down to 552pm or do a wordsearch for "Stanley" or "molest"). As I say ... I'm not really sure if I'm being excessively scrupulous (bad) or preferring to err on the side of discretion (good).